Woman and Child First

Van Badham: Guts, Intelligence and Wit in Action

A conversation around domestic violence in Australia is finally being aired.  A woman is being murdered every week in this country by a partner or ex-partner. One of my favourite shows is Q and A - a TV production that invites audience members to question people of public note about current issues. This week, one young man whose sister had been stabbed to death with a meat cleaver by her partner last year asked the panel: How will politicians and the media play a better role in bringing about long-overdue cultural shifts, so tragedies like what happened to my family are not normalised?

Then it all turned nasty. Feminist writer Van Badham was planning to challenge another panel member (a Liberal Party politician) about cuts (around $100m) to community legal centres, where women who are fleeing violence are given support and legal advice.  She never actually got to do that because fish look-alike Steve Price rudely spoke over her with patronizing relentlessness and finally insulted her calling her "hysterical".

(Thus proving the questioner's concern about "long overdue cultural shifts"). Van's answer was fast though considered, smart as a whip and bloody funny. She said, "It's probably my ovaries making me do it, Steve".  

And that has created a huge social media storm where Van of course has continued to be verbally abused. She also continues to remain calm, fierce and upright and beautifully, intelligently vocal. An inspiration and a constant reminder of our need for those cultural shifts so that disrespect of women is challenged and then reduced into a dim memory.

Thank you Van Badham. You can see how it played out and you can Read her.

Oh, and here's Steve Price.

And here's a fish.

See?

Sister Rosetta Tharpe

I'll never stop loving this clip. If I'd been sitting in that audience I would have had my life change. I would have thought, "How can I be that cool when I grow up?" and I would have thought of ways.

Read about Rosetta Tharpe's life here.

  

Friday's Woman: Rita Levi-Montalcini

“Above all, don’t fear difficult moments. The best comes from them."

Italian neurologist, Rita Levi-Montalcini, died last December age 103. 

"At 20, I realized that I could not possibly adjust to a feminine role as conceived by my father and asked him permission to engage in a professional career," Levi-Montalcini wrote in her biography.

She went onto study Medicine and then went into research and won a Nobel prize for her work with Stanley Cohen in 1986. She was active, smart and lovely right up until her death.

"I can say my mental capacity is greater today than when I was 20, since it has been enriched by so many experiences," she said at age 103.

 

 

 

An Unusal Woman: Ahead of Her Time & Didn't Know It

 

Speaking of Marilyn Monroe and the Mocambo in Hollywood. In 1955, Ms. Monroe persuaded the owner of the Mocambo to hire Ella Fitzgerald (the Mocambo did not book Black artists).

Ms. Fitzgerald on Ms. Monroe to Ms. magazine in 1972: “I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt…it was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the ’50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him - and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status - that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman - a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.”

 

Via Vintage Black Glamour on Facebook

Maybe you're ahead of your time and don't know it? Fancy that idea.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

We so often feel like change and growth should be easy and come with some sort of magic wand. It doesn't. 

Personal evolution comes like a well tended garden. Plan it (decide). Design it (set goals). See it with all its colour (visualize what you'll look like when you're being your best self).

And then: Do. The. Work.

Your muscles (brain, heart, soul) will be sore and stiff with the thing. Keep going. You'll become better, fitter, stronger  as you go.

Plus you see the garden grow. Mary was onto it. Mary knew something.

Nurture it.  Water that garden. For god's sake, get rid of the weeds. Negative thoughts, spinning like a turntable of noise, never stop until you get them out of the garden of your self.

Tend to the garden of you. Yes there will be death (loss, pain). Turn the soil of your life afterward. Fertilize it with new stuff, good stuff. Grow the next garden.

This verse came to me in childhood and resonates with a deeper meaning now:

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.

Wikipedia

Do the work on your garden. Grow  it, love it. The world needs silver belled, cockle-shelled gardens, in all ways.

 

 

The Art of Receiving Compliments.

We are used to giving. As women, it's biologically built into our DNA over thousands of years of evolution. We are good at nurturing, it's an ancient gift and survival technique.

But what about receiving? Hmm. Not so good at that eh?

The ability to receive graciously is hard for us. When someone compliments us, how can we stop ourselves from putting ourselves down in our reply?  Well, let's see. You stop your mouth going into autopilot and saying, for instance, 'Oh it's marvelous what make up can cover up!' Instead, say, 'Thank you.' Smile.

Give the person the idea that you appreciate that they've just complimented you.

Give yourself a lovely refreshing breath in and breath out. Enjoy the compliment. Receive the compliment. It's a lot easier on your head, heart and soul that way.

Resisting a compliment is hard work, it requires discomfort and a fight on your behalf. That's valuable energy you're wasting! It also is a bit of a slap in the face to the person who wanted to let you have the good stuff in the first place.

So next time someone says something to you, about you that is flattering, enjoy it. It's good for you, it's good for them. Everyone wins!

When the World is Sick

 

The Japanese soul appears to me essentially feminine. What I am here venturing to say is far from being pejorative. On the contrary. When the world is sick, it is from woman that all is reborn.

-Jean-Louis Barrault

 From Memories for Tomorrow: The Memoirs of Jean-Louis Barrault

(New York 1974 E.P. Dutton & Co., Inc.)

Sisterhood by Kate Wilson

Sometimes I find myself almost panicking about the media's narrow and twisted portrayals of young women, the sexualization of girls and the backlash against women that it all represents.

 I caught up with a precious friend from high school on the weekend and spent a number of moments panicking about it again. Chris assured me I would work it out.  

Another dear friend  Maree sent me this link today. I'm comforted, reassured and inspired by this. There are more of us than a tiddly wee few who want sharper awareness, change and guts shown by and for women.

A heartfelt and very strong poem performed by Kate Wilson:

 

Sunday Best (And Happy Election Day)

 

Oh Oh New Songs!

Just when I thought the whole world had turned into miserable versions of Paris Hilton or Christine Freaking Aguilera (Please God, can you make them go away?) I discover these marvelous pieces of sound and picture.

They feature women doing something other than being porn stars. Rebellious hey. Who woulda, I mean who woulda thought. 

Ms Dynamite is even regarded as feminist in da rap and hip hop crib ugh. And Boy Does That Community Need a Feminist.

Here's Mark Ronson and The Business Intl. Female depictions are by MNDR and remind me in a delightful way of Cindy Wilson and Kate Pierson of the B52's. But you know what? This is just a great and playful clip.

 Dy-na-mi-tee next folks. Try and get this one out of your head after you play it - it's gorgeous...