Woman and Child First

Van Badham: Guts, Intelligence and Wit in Action

A conversation around domestic violence in Australia is finally being aired.  A woman is being murdered every week in this country by a partner or ex-partner. One of my favourite shows is Q and A - a TV production that invites audience members to question people of public note about current issues. This week, one young man whose sister had been stabbed to death with a meat cleaver by her partner last year asked the panel: How will politicians and the media play a better role in bringing about long-overdue cultural shifts, so tragedies like what happened to my family are not normalised?

Then it all turned nasty. Feminist writer Van Badham was planning to challenge another panel member (a Liberal Party politician) about cuts (around $100m) to community legal centres, where women who are fleeing violence are given support and legal advice.  She never actually got to do that because fish look-alike Steve Price rudely spoke over her with patronizing relentlessness and finally insulted her calling her "hysterical".

(Thus proving the questioner's concern about "long overdue cultural shifts"). Van's answer was fast though considered, smart as a whip and bloody funny. She said, "It's probably my ovaries making me do it, Steve".  

And that has created a huge social media storm where Van of course has continued to be verbally abused. She also continues to remain calm, fierce and upright and beautifully, intelligently vocal. An inspiration and a constant reminder of our need for those cultural shifts so that disrespect of women is challenged and then reduced into a dim memory.

Thank you Van Badham. You can see how it played out and you can Read her.

Oh, and here's Steve Price.

And here's a fish.

See?

Good Young Men on Domestic Violence

I'm running a program with a male teacher called GYM ( Good Young Men) for Year 5 boys. We kick the whole thing off by asking the boys about what they think makes a "good man" and we cover many things around that topic including domestic violence (DV). White Ribbon day is held annually in Australia and highlights this disturbing problem.

Our Assistant Principal sent me the video below yesterday knowing it would be very cool for our group. I'm so impressed by this piece of work. It's very moving, optimistic and frankly - it rocks.  It features beautiful young Yr 5 men from Bankstown Public School clearly stating their opposition to violence against women.  It comes out of a project run in south-western Sydney by BYDS (Bankstown Youth Development Service) and we are SO going to use it in our GYM group.

 

 

Friday's Woman: Rita Levi-Montalcini

“Above all, don’t fear difficult moments. The best comes from them."

Italian neurologist, Rita Levi-Montalcini, died last December age 103. 

"At 20, I realized that I could not possibly adjust to a feminine role as conceived by my father and asked him permission to engage in a professional career," Levi-Montalcini wrote in her biography.

She went onto study Medicine and then went into research and won a Nobel prize for her work with Stanley Cohen in 1986. She was active, smart and lovely right up until her death.

"I can say my mental capacity is greater today than when I was 20, since it has been enriched by so many experiences," she said at age 103.

 

 

 

Teenage guts with icing

This is such a great story - a teenager coming out as gay with a happy cake to celebrate and inform! "Good Morning Parents..." reads the letter of introduction. How inspiring to be so young and able to have the courage to say (and with humour): Hey Guys, I'm Different and I'm Really OK with it. Can you be too please?

My thoughts go to other young gays who know damn well the response would never be as supportive as this story describes. Sometimes secrecy is survival - but if this part sounds like you, make sure someone knows. Someone you trust and who makes you feel good about simply being you.

 

How Does Your Garden Grow?

We so often feel like change and growth should be easy and come with some sort of magic wand. It doesn't. 

Personal evolution comes like a well tended garden. Plan it (decide). Design it (set goals). See it with all its colour (visualize what you'll look like when you're being your best self).

And then: Do. The. Work.

Your muscles (brain, heart, soul) will be sore and stiff with the thing. Keep going. You'll become better, fitter, stronger  as you go.

Plus you see the garden grow. Mary was onto it. Mary knew something.

Nurture it.  Water that garden. For god's sake, get rid of the weeds. Negative thoughts, spinning like a turntable of noise, never stop until you get them out of the garden of your self.

Tend to the garden of you. Yes there will be death (loss, pain). Turn the soil of your life afterward. Fertilize it with new stuff, good stuff. Grow the next garden.

This verse came to me in childhood and resonates with a deeper meaning now:

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?
With silver bells, and cockle shells,
And pretty maids all in a row.

Wikipedia

Do the work on your garden. Grow  it, love it. The world needs silver belled, cockle-shelled gardens, in all ways.

 

 

Sisterhood by Kate Wilson

Sometimes I find myself almost panicking about the media's narrow and twisted portrayals of young women, the sexualization of girls and the backlash against women that it all represents.

 I caught up with a precious friend from high school on the weekend and spent a number of moments panicking about it again. Chris assured me I would work it out.  

Another dear friend  Maree sent me this link today. I'm comforted, reassured and inspired by this. There are more of us than a tiddly wee few who want sharper awareness, change and guts shown by and for women.

A heartfelt and very strong poem performed by Kate Wilson:

 

Not Everyone's Obsessed With Their Darling Money

You are looking at a picture of a man who, instead of giving his ancestral land over to a French mining company so they could mine billions of dollars worth of uranium, has given it to the Federal government so it can become part of Kakadu national park.

Described as "extremely shy and humble", Jeffrey Lee is senior custodian of the Kongarra land. He may well have become one of Australia's richest men but he chose something filled with heart, soul and a billion dollars worth of responsibility.

He's decided to look after the land instead. 

''Jeffrey Lee has put country and culture ahead of personal profit and his vision means this magnificent place will be protected for all people and all time''  - Dave Sweeney (Aust. Conservation Foundation).

Full story here.

Cool American Babies With Sohpisticated Sense Of Humour

I've been discovering new blogs to read.Vodka Mom totally stole this from write on, yo and I'm totally stealing it from both of them. And just as an observation, I've noticed some totally brilliant humour coming out of the U.S. in the last few months which makes me think of the relationship between disaster, tragedy and consequent inspired humour. You Yanks are actually very funny! xoxo

a small but profound luxury

My favourite female author, Isabelle Allende, interviewed by my favourite Australian TV person, Andrew Denton.

I think that when I was around 5 I realised that my mother was a victim and I didn't want to be like her. My mother was a beautiful woman who was victimised by the society. My mother had no rights, no money, no power of any kind and the only way she could get attention was by being very sick. So she was sick all the time. And I wanted to be like my grandfather, I wanted to be in control. I think I was a feminist before the word was invented. By the time I came across feminist books by eh by American or European writers, I realised that there was [noise in background] an articulate way or a language to express all these feelings that I had had for years and years and so I became a raging feminist as a young woman". - Isabelle Allende.

Interesting how those we admire turn out to be, after all this time, quite like ourselves.

Enough Rope June 30 2008

 

It Means I'm 6 foot 2, I'm Intellectual, I'm Bullet Proof.

ANDREW DENTON: You are a Kokoberra woman.

TANIA MAJOR: Yes.

ANDREW DENTON: Grew up in Kowanyama. What does being a Kokoberra woman mean?

TANIA MAJOR: A Kokoberra woman means I’m from Kowanyama in a right Aboriginal community, in Cape York.

ANDREW DENTON: Aha.

TANIA MAJOR: I’m from a particular tribal group. It means I’m six foot two, I’m intellectual, I’m bullet proof.

ANDREW DENTON: Mhm.

TANIA MAJOR: And it means, don’t mess with me Andrew Denton.

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

TANIA MAJOR: Cos I can see on your head.

ANDREW DENTON: I’m not messing with you Tania.

LAUGHTER

- From Enough Rope 26 May 2008

This 26 year-old Young Australian of the Year 2007 is a complete inspiration. In respect to discussions of indigenous people in this country, I can (with relief) say I have never heard so much commonsense, honesty and intelligence come from anyone's mouth as it does from Tania's.

And shit she's funny. Watch the video, it's grand.