Woman and Child First

Mr. Incredibubble And He Is!

I found this on my new favourite blog Hoyden About Town. It needs to be seen by every living person. What a guy!

(Note to self: Get red cape, 20 litres detergent and two long sticks).

The Arrival: Me, Ben and Shaun Tan

My curiosity whetted, I nailed the local librarian and came home with this book.

Whooee. This guy is a REALLY GOOD DRAWER.

Believe him when he says his drawings are 'visually complex'...and 'for older readers'. I was stumped by the sequence of pictures and hey I'm really old.

My really young (9 year old) son said when I showed him a page:

                            "I don't get it".

Ah hee hee, I love kids. However, The Arrival is a darkly beautiful  depiction of a migrant experience with an almost breathtaking visual imagination behind every frame. I will continue to seek this man's work out. He's very very good.

A Greater Good

Although I haven’t seen good research to substantiate this theory that mothers’ happiness directly influences the happiness of their children, a fairly extensive body of research has established a substantial link between mothers who feel depressed and “negative outcomes” in their children, like acting out and other behavior problems. As you might imagine, when we mothers feel depressed it is not good for our children’s happiness. -Christine Carter, Ph.D.,

Yet another reason to look after yourself. I repeat, to nourish and nuture oneself as a woman, a mother is NOT a luxury, it's an essential.

The above snippet comes from a blog that looks closely at the "Science of Raising Happy Children".

Can't remember how I stumbled on it, but I'm really enjoying reading from it. Over to the sidebar for you, Half Full Blogversations!

Painting by Kim Richardson

Girls Into Women

"Are we are losing the war for girls' self-esteem? We are fighting the media, popular culture, teenage stresses and peer pressure for the minds, values and habits of our girls. Girls' self-esteem plummets around age nine:

• Girls face depression twice as often as boys by age 15.
• 20–40% of girls aged ten have started dieting.
• Girls as young as 10 confront "teen" issues such as sex.
• Eating disorders among the most common mental health problems in girls.
• Low self-esteem leads to dangerous sexual behavior.

The good news is that despite these pressures, parents have more influence on their kids than they think." - article from NYU Child Study Centre.

I always love to read that last sentence. Let's be positive and firm with our girls. Let's show them how it is to live as a strong and self-determined person. They need that from their parents now more than ever. This article has some good reminders about creating confidence within our daughters.

The strongest messages come from us, their parents. This is good to remember!

Stupid People Don't Fit Into Middle Earth.

Speaking in developmental terms, the great blessings of entering into Middle Earth, as a woman, include one certain fact. That fact is this:

A woman no longer needs the approval of other women. Or men. Mother's still may have some clout, but if a woman has had children then she has probably understood more of that thing now. But still Middle Earth women don't herald anyone else's opinions quite so freely. They can now embrace the freedom of their own convictions.  - Me.

If I was to be really very cynical, I might even suggest that much of the reason that so much media is put into making older women appear to be less than desirable is because it's so daunting to acknowledge truth. Middle Earth (female) power is a substantial force.

Laurie Anderson (performance artist and musician, pictured here 2008), has always been a force.

Now, she's just sublime.

The SHE Programme

"S trength in awareness

H ealth in relationships

E mpowerment for the future.

Statistics show that 1 in 5 young women have bulimia, 1 in 3 young women have been sexually abused and 1 in 50 suffer from anorexia.

SHE programme is a group of dedicated women of all ages who seek to inform, educate and support young women in making healthy decisions about life and relationships".

-Taken from a SHE flyer.

All the facilitators are young women aged 18 - 25 years. This is because the woman who developed this programme (Carol) knew, researched and could see that young women are more likely to listen other young women, more than old bags like her and I.

I met Carol today. She's a local woman who's had years of experience in sexual assault centres and refuges. As she said, there's no gain in talking to adolescent girls about violence toward women as they tend to adopt an attitude of "It won't happen to me". (Or, if it has happened to them, there is too much shame and hurt around it to be hit up with the whole thing again).

SHE comes from a more positive, practical discussion point.

Carol said that the key point to the success of this program is that it's run by peer facilitators. And those facilitators are mainly young women who've gone through the programme and want to contribute.

It's running in local (Tweed) high schools at the moment, but there's already one primary school that wants SHE for their Year 5 and 6 girlies. I'm taking the pamphlet to my daughter's principal to give it a push at her school.

The vision is that it will be running statewide (New South Wales) in the not too distant future.

No website to link to folks. This is a programme developed on a low budget by an inspired woman and run by volunteers.

Photo link.

Speaking Of Autism: The Black Balloon

On my way to work this morn, I heard a couple of the actors from this film yapping on Triple J radio about their new flick.

The following is from a review of the film The Black Balloon:

(With: Rhys Wakefield, Luke Ford, Gemma Ward, Erik Thomson, Toni Collette).

By RUSSELL EDWARDS
"An autistic sibling teaches valuable life lessons in the alternately soft and intense family-friendly drama “The Black Balloon.” Yarn good-naturedly tackles the complex reality of living with a disabled person head-on, and auds are fully encouraged to experience the conflicted feelings of its sensitive teen protagonist". Link

An Australian film, it's won accolades at the Berlin Film Festival.

Photo of Gemma Ward from the Sydney Morning Herald.

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time

I love this book. I haven't finished it yet, which is good because I will be disappointed to lose it in the end.

It's written from the perspective of an autistic (perhaps Asperger's ?) 15 year old. A label is never mentioned. This author however, has an intimate knowledge of how these kids see things.

I work with a lot of these kids. I still have to find the answer to the question,"Why are there so many Aspergers/Autistic/Pervasive Developmental Disorder children diagnosed these days?" But that's another story.

I like these kids. They do it hard but there's just something about them with which I can relate. I think there's a bit of Asperger's in all of us frankly.

These children don't understand social skills or niceties and need specific teaching in them. They reach unbearable heights of anxiety with change to routine, noise levels and other assorted bits and pieces the rest of us take in our stride (for the most part).

Last year, I was running a social skills group with a colleague to such children ("high functioning" Asperger's children). One day we were showing them pictures of faces - angry, sad, happy, surprised etc.

I showed one boy a picture of an angry face and asked him how he felt when someone looked at him like that. He replied, "I just...don't care". And that for me, was a quintessential Asperger's comment. What a dear child I thought, so honest.

This book captures such moments and provides a beautiful, funny and sensitive description of a condition that many kidlets have. It's so well written too. A really good and delicious read.

The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time  by Mark Haddon

Resilience

I went to a really inspirational gathering today. The large room was full of primary school teachers. There was an Australian psychologist out the front who was smart, tuned in and really funny. Lots of laughter filled the room and oodles of head-nodding.

His name is Andrew Fuller. He runs a private practice out of Melbourne for kids, adolescents and families. He's written a number of books. He works with/in a lot of schools.

He was talking about resilience training for the young. He mixed it up with current brain research. Spent the best part of 2 hours inspiring the desire in everyone to become more resilient themselves. Suggesting that the best this to do is to become more like who want to be - first.

Then the kids will get it. Perfect simple psychology.

Here's a sample. He said there are four rules (to remember, to teach):

1. Anything is possible

2. Nothing is easy

3. When things get difficult, remember Rule No. 1

4. If something looks easy, remember Rule No. 2

He also advocates encouraging "Big Hairy Audacious Goals" again, for all of us. I really enjoy being a psychologist when I see another one being so damn good. Check his site out, buy a book or resource. He's great.

Respecting The Wishes Of The Young

The other day, a High School teacher approached me to inform me of a child in trouble. She said that this kid did not "connect" with the other counsellor who works at the same school and could I see her?

After showing my reluctance regarding the other counsellor's feelings, I saw the kid.

Guess what. She didn't connect with flipping me either.

Some kids don't want to talk to freaking school counsellors. Give them this number (link now on the sidebar as well) if living in Oz: Kids Helpline 1800 551 800

It's free and confidential. The site is great too.