Woman and Child First

Asking The Right Questions

 How often do you enquire as to how you are going - on an emotional level?

How often do you make a check-in with yourself and ask the real questions? 

For instance: How am I going? What do I need to do today to lift myself? 

These exercises are entirely necessary if one is learning to manage depression. Buy hey and c'mon. These questions are just necessary. This is daily practice.

Give yourself some attention. Ask the real questions, wait for the answer and then act on your own advice.

Contemplative Sculpture.

The Stuff of Dreams

          

            The center that I cannot find is known to my unconscious mind.

W.H. Auden

  I enjoy working with people's dreams. Whenever they appear in a session, they always present rich inner material for that person. Dream dictionaries are never used in my office. (They can be helpful but they are limited).

 The main reference point, or interpretation base is that person. I simply ask the guiding questions. What is that related to in your waking life? What do you really feel about the person in your dream? What do you feel the dream is about? And etc.

I kept a dream diary myself over many years, the style of writing still intrigues, delights and yes - informs. It still reminds me of how completely insane I am...Oh but in a good way.

 A dream diary holds a personal history that can be helpful down the track as well as the morning after your dream. What are your dreams telling you at the moment?

Women Get Stronger As They Get Older But Sometimes They Can Just Get Weird

Take my mother for example...

But then there's this: It's said by some (see Christiane Northrup), that the perimenopausal years (those that come just before the menopause itself) are ones in which a woman's sense of herself, the truth as she knows it and what needs to happen, come into a sharper focus.

At these ages, many women have spent the majority of their adult lives looking after other people. Those "others" may be their own children, their parents, husbands and a host of others too. They are used to being nice, nice and nicey nice to others and generally being fan - frikking - tastic on everyone else's behalf. 

Oh, but however. At this age, many women start to say things like, "Do it yourself".

Or "Go away".

Or "Gee you know, I don't like you anymore after all".

Etc.

I have no doubt these facts contribute to the weaker members of the male gender running for the nearest under 30's bar/porn site/bloke's bonding area (that would be the pub).

But there are others. Real men who have a good strong spine, a big heart and a twinkle in their eye. They can stay the distance. The strongest who can gently point out where a woman might have stepped over the mark but they love her and snuggle her at the end of that difficult conversation. 

So then it goes like this...That good strong women must necessarily be with good strong men.

Photo of a bunch of suffragette Japanese women having a few things to point out - found here.

Stupid People Don't Fit Into Middle Earth.

Speaking in developmental terms, the great blessings of entering into Middle Earth, as a woman, include one certain fact. That fact is this:

A woman no longer needs the approval of other women. Or men. Mother's still may have some clout, but if a woman has had children then she has probably understood more of that thing now. But still Middle Earth women don't herald anyone else's opinions quite so freely. They can now embrace the freedom of their own convictions.  - Me.

If I was to be really very cynical, I might even suggest that much of the reason that so much media is put into making older women appear to be less than desirable is because it's so daunting to acknowledge truth. Middle Earth (female) power is a substantial force.

Laurie Anderson (performance artist and musician, pictured here 2008), has always been a force.

Now, she's just sublime.

Resilience

I went to a really inspirational gathering today. The large room was full of primary school teachers. There was an Australian psychologist out the front who was smart, tuned in and really funny. Lots of laughter filled the room and oodles of head-nodding.

His name is Andrew Fuller. He runs a private practice out of Melbourne for kids, adolescents and families. He's written a number of books. He works with/in a lot of schools.

He was talking about resilience training for the young. He mixed it up with current brain research. Spent the best part of 2 hours inspiring the desire in everyone to become more resilient themselves. Suggesting that the best this to do is to become more like who want to be - first.

Then the kids will get it. Perfect simple psychology.

Here's a sample. He said there are four rules (to remember, to teach):

1. Anything is possible

2. Nothing is easy

3. When things get difficult, remember Rule No. 1

4. If something looks easy, remember Rule No. 2

He also advocates encouraging "Big Hairy Audacious Goals" again, for all of us. I really enjoy being a psychologist when I see another one being so damn good. Check his site out, buy a book or resource. He's great.

Doodleblog

"If you want to know the end, look at the beginning." - African proverb.

I've loved Doodleblog for sometime now - and so has my son. He's left comments on Simon's blog. The author/artist has always been gracious in his reply to children.

I thought I'd swing you over there.

Beautiful Vassilisa

"Many years ago, in a certain village lived an old couple, who had just one daughter, named Vassilisa. They lived in quite a small cottage, but they were comfortably off. Yet trouble came to them too, for the mother fell ill, and she realised that she was near to death. So she called her daughter to her, and gave her a small doll.
"Listen, my dear daughter," she said. "Take great care of this little doll, and never let anyone else see it. If you ever get into trouble, give her something to eat and ask her advice. She will eat the food and will help you in your trouble."
    She gave Vassilisa a last kiss, and soon after she died."

An old, old Russian Fairy tale which offers instruction on listening to one's intuition.

Read the whole thing here.

Irish Blessings and A Finger Up As Well

Here is a little story about Sinead O'Connor (favoured Irish person) from 2001. What a fabulously interesting woman.

And here is a song from the same inspired woman from oh... sometime ago too:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PCyKEKi4fP4&mode=related&search=

Never one to do tiddly bits, Sinead just tells it like it is, sings from the heart and remains another heroine.

Dead Artist, Beautiful and Brilliant, Cops Further Beatings

Perhaps contrary to my last post... I Will Say This:

The articles I've read so far on Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake have fallen into a little neat heap of similar analyses. Don't we just love to put things in teensy boxes and cover them with plastic labels? Ah...That feels better.

And the conclusion is: They were paranoid freaks that lost their grip on any sort of reality. (Oh. But they were really interesting). There we have it. Good as Done.

One more thing: Theresa Duncan could be really difficult. Like I mean totally really difficult.

Look I don't know and I never will whether Theresa and Jeremy were being harrassed by the Church of freaking Scientology. But I do know something of the ugliness of human nature. I know something about how easy it is to call them paranoid. NOW. They're both dead so they can't defend themselves.

I have no doubt whatsoever that my beloved Theresa could be difficult. She was an artist and an intellectual, damn you! She's meant to be provocative and challenging.  Did we all expect her to be "nice" and polite and sweet to everyone did we? Oh shucks.

Get a life. She had things to say.

One of the 14 million reasons I loved that woman and her blog was because she had edge and a sharp one. I just adored her for that. I always knew that I were ever to be so honoured and lucky to meet her, that she had the potential to scare the shit out of me. THAT'S A GOOD THING. Her intellectual edge invited me to stand up and meet that challenge. That's called divine opportunity in my language.

The lilly-livered, packaged conclusions that have been drawn about this woman, attempting to do the impossible (explain human complexity in about 9 nine sentences), are falling short of doing anything but making me want to hit someone.

TD pictured in New York. The Present in New York Is So Powerful The Past Is Lost on Wit, 21 November 2006.

The Artist As Mentor

Grief is grief. How many grieved for John Lennon and who still misses him? Scores of people who never met the man.

Artists are vital. They speak for us, they mirror us. They tell stories about our culture - who we are and who we are meant to be.  They tell stories that show how frigging stupid we are.

I'll lay bets that your favourite artist is someone who is saying and doing something that almost exactly speaks something from your own self.

And if they die before us, we have lost something vital. Our spokesperson is no longer here to represent us. What remains for us privately and individually is what was inspired within us and what we will do with it now. This is the key to moving forward.

The beautiful and eternally brilliant Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake are pictured.