Woman and Child First

Stupid People Don't Fit Into Middle Earth.

Speaking in developmental terms, the great blessings of entering into Middle Earth, as a woman, include one certain fact. That fact is this:

A woman no longer needs the approval of other women. Or men. Mother's still may have some clout, but if a woman has had children then she has probably understood more of that thing now. But still Middle Earth women don't herald anyone else's opinions quite so freely. They can now embrace the freedom of their own convictions.  - Me.

If I was to be really very cynical, I might even suggest that much of the reason that so much media is put into making older women appear to be less than desirable is because it's so daunting to acknowledge truth. Middle Earth (female) power is a substantial force.

Laurie Anderson (performance artist and musician, pictured here 2008), has always been a force.

Now, she's just sublime.

Resilience

I went to a really inspirational gathering today. The large room was full of primary school teachers. There was an Australian psychologist out the front who was smart, tuned in and really funny. Lots of laughter filled the room and oodles of head-nodding.

His name is Andrew Fuller. He runs a private practice out of Melbourne for kids, adolescents and families. He's written a number of books. He works with/in a lot of schools.

He was talking about resilience training for the young. He mixed it up with current brain research. Spent the best part of 2 hours inspiring the desire in everyone to become more resilient themselves. Suggesting that the best this to do is to become more like who want to be - first.

Then the kids will get it. Perfect simple psychology.

Here's a sample. He said there are four rules (to remember, to teach):

1. Anything is possible

2. Nothing is easy

3. When things get difficult, remember Rule No. 1

4. If something looks easy, remember Rule No. 2

He also advocates encouraging "Big Hairy Audacious Goals" again, for all of us. I really enjoy being a psychologist when I see another one being so damn good. Check his site out, buy a book or resource. He's great.

Doodleblog

"If you want to know the end, look at the beginning." - African proverb.

I've loved Doodleblog for sometime now - and so has my son. He's left comments on Simon's blog. The author/artist has always been gracious in his reply to children.

I thought I'd swing you over there.

Beautiful Vassilisa

"Many years ago, in a certain village lived an old couple, who had just one daughter, named Vassilisa. They lived in quite a small cottage, but they were comfortably off. Yet trouble came to them too, for the mother fell ill, and she realised that she was near to death. So she called her daughter to her, and gave her a small doll.
"Listen, my dear daughter," she said. "Take great care of this little doll, and never let anyone else see it. If you ever get into trouble, give her something to eat and ask her advice. She will eat the food and will help you in your trouble."
    She gave Vassilisa a last kiss, and soon after she died."

An old, old Russian Fairy tale which offers instruction on listening to one's intuition.

Read the whole thing here.

Irish Blessings and A Finger Up As Well

Here is a little story about Sinead O'Connor (favoured Irish person) from 2001. What a fabulously interesting woman.

And here is a song from the same inspired woman from oh... sometime ago too:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=PCyKEKi4fP4&mode=related&search=

Never one to do tiddly bits, Sinead just tells it like it is, sings from the heart and remains another heroine.

Dead Artist, Beautiful and Brilliant, Cops Further Beatings

Perhaps contrary to my last post... I Will Say This:

The articles I've read so far on Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake have fallen into a little neat heap of similar analyses. Don't we just love to put things in teensy boxes and cover them with plastic labels? Ah...That feels better.

And the conclusion is: They were paranoid freaks that lost their grip on any sort of reality. (Oh. But they were really interesting). There we have it. Good as Done.

One more thing: Theresa Duncan could be really difficult. Like I mean totally really difficult.

Look I don't know and I never will whether Theresa and Jeremy were being harrassed by the Church of freaking Scientology. But I do know something of the ugliness of human nature. I know something about how easy it is to call them paranoid. NOW. They're both dead so they can't defend themselves.

I have no doubt whatsoever that my beloved Theresa could be difficult. She was an artist and an intellectual, damn you! She's meant to be provocative and challenging.  Did we all expect her to be "nice" and polite and sweet to everyone did we? Oh shucks.

Get a life. She had things to say.

One of the 14 million reasons I loved that woman and her blog was because she had edge and a sharp one. I just adored her for that. I always knew that I were ever to be so honoured and lucky to meet her, that she had the potential to scare the shit out of me. THAT'S A GOOD THING. Her intellectual edge invited me to stand up and meet that challenge. That's called divine opportunity in my language.

The lilly-livered, packaged conclusions that have been drawn about this woman, attempting to do the impossible (explain human complexity in about 9 nine sentences), are falling short of doing anything but making me want to hit someone.

TD pictured in New York. The Present in New York Is So Powerful The Past Is Lost on Wit, 21 November 2006.

The Artist As Mentor

Grief is grief. How many grieved for John Lennon and who still misses him? Scores of people who never met the man.

Artists are vital. They speak for us, they mirror us. They tell stories about our culture - who we are and who we are meant to be.  They tell stories that show how frigging stupid we are.

I'll lay bets that your favourite artist is someone who is saying and doing something that almost exactly speaks something from your own self.

And if they die before us, we have lost something vital. Our spokesperson is no longer here to represent us. What remains for us privately and individually is what was inspired within us and what we will do with it now. This is the key to moving forward.

The beautiful and eternally brilliant Theresa Duncan and Jeremy Blake are pictured.

Back To School

Young 'uns with sore backs, tummy bugs, ear infections, cranky and bored. Seen 'em all this week: clients, my kids, my friends' kids.

Oh yes. AND it's the week before school goes back... hmmm.

Bear with those kidlets, the anxiety levels run high. When you think back to starting a new year when you were little or at least smaller than you are now, you can remember how overwhelming it all can seem.

What to do?

*  Everyone wants to fight with each other at the moment  - and who wouldn't in this heat? KEEP CALM.  REMEMBER:  MUMMY NEEDS TO STAY CALM. 

Whilst wanting to throttle my two, I have instead spoken more quietly, been more flexible. I've been looking after myself in terms of sleep, food and relax-time. It's working.

*  Greet each fear with understanding ("Yep, I used to feel that too ." If you did, otherwise be quiet and listen) and a positive. Any positive.

*  Reassure. For example,  "If your teacher is inherently evil, I will fight for you" Just joking... You know what I mean.

*  Get organized now. School bags, uniforms, lunch stuff - make sure it's ready to go. You don't want a panic attack over a school hat on Tuesday morning at 7.45.

*  Listen. Listen and then listen again. They have real fears, they are small humans. When you sit down and talk with them, listen and talk some more. Ask questions: "Are you ok with...?" Haven't got time to listen? Make time. It will pay off. Guaranteed.

*  Reassure of future reassurance - "If you ever need to talk to me about school, just do it. We'll make a quiet time to sit down and nut out ANY problem you come up against".

*  Give them boosts. "I just know you are going to be ok. Hey. You are a GREAT kid".

*  Be patient and remember they are only kids. Kids get more scared of the unknown than we do.

Good Luck and Happy, Smooth Back to School for you all.

Let's all just hold our breaths' and jump?

Guess How Much I Love You

Getting Out of Rotten Relationships

There is much to read and many services to support a woman who is unhappy in a relationship. To leave takes guts and when there are children involved, the heartbreak is magnified.

At a local level, Tweed Women's Service offers support and advice to women who are in relationships that are abusive, particularly those that involve domestic violence. There will be services like this in your local area, so make use of them if you need to.

Often, a woman's dilemma is that she doesn't know how to pinpoint what is wrong in the relationship. Her self-confidence may be so low, she has lost trust in her own perceptions. This is often the case in abusive relationships, remembering that emotional and verbal abuse is deeply harmful, just like physical abuse. This dilema is addressed in a very straightforward manner in The Verbally Abusive Relationship:How to Recognize it and How to Respond by Patricia Evans. It's an excellent read and totally nails the complexities of this type of relationship. It also explains the difference between personal power and "Power Over".

At the end of the day though, and I may be criticized for being simplistic, if you feel loved and respected, constantly, then that's healthy and right.

If you don't, chances are you need to make a decision about what to do. You can stay. You can leave. It's your life and you get to choose. But it's a fundamental human right to be happy, loved and heard in a relationship. Seek help from someone you can trust if you are not happy in your relationship.

The darkly beautiful art of Kim Richardson features.

Something To Do

"One of the most medicinal tasks we can undertake is a simple walk. It is difficult to remain mired in negativity and depression when we are "shaking it out" a little. Walking with an eye to the positive can take a gentle vigilance. As a form of medicine for ourselves, we can consciously turn our thoughts to the ancient practice of practicing gratitude - a footfall at a time. Take yourself out-of-doors and set a goal of a simple twenty-minute walk. Aiming toward the outer world, allow your inner world to fall into a brighter perspective by consciously - and concretely- enumerating your life's blessings. People, events, situations - any of these may be cause for gratitude. As you warm to your task of focusing on the good in your life, both your heart and your step will lighten."

Julia Cameron in Walking In This World: Practical Strategies for Creativity.

She's right.